This just in! Real super hero charged with assault!
He stalks the nights, hunting down criminals tirelessly, thanklessly. But does he chase the villains, or run from his dark past?! He is Phoenix Jones, masked muscle man of justice! With his trusty powers of blinding toxins, he subdues the most vile of villainy. He’s also, presumably, able to fly and see through walls… Though I might just be making up that last part.
Anyways… uh. So this is mostly true. Benjamin John Francis Fodor, aka Phoenix Jones, was brought in for trying to break up a fight with pepper spray (which, apparently, can be called assault). He spent 7hrs in jail and was released on bail.
Apparently, he’s part of a Seattle vigilante justice group called the Rain City Superhero Movement. Wonder if they have a supervillain movement I could apply to… hmm… lol! (also, double points for his wife, aka, Purple Reign!)
I guess the thing here is that vigilante justice is frowned upon… and for good reason. You’re not trained in police work, you don’t represent “the people” as a law enforcement officer does, and there’s the whole “liability” thing. Also… Pepper spray? Really? Maybe if it was mounted in some dispenser on the wrist and can be shot like spidey web, but just a $5 can of pepper spray from Walmart? That’s just lazy. The man’s got some decent fighting/boxing records so do that. Or use your wits and subdue your dastardly evildoers with your cunning and agility! But not pepper spray… or a taser for that matter…
That said, I kinda like this movement! It’s like the Robin Hood of the modern era! Hmm, come to think of it, he did wear tights too… But yeah, I think it would be awesome in the sense that if there was some sort of certification to do it, or registration, or work similar to a bounty hunter or private detective… I think just grabbing a can of Human Off and an old Halloween costume isn’t the way to do it. Other than that… Man, I’m all for this!
“I am just like everybody else. The only difference is that I try to stop crime in my neighborhood and everywhere else.”, said Jones, and you know what, even though he was a bit out of line with his tactics, if there were just a few more people out there like him, trying to keep even just one street corner crime-free, then maybe our world might be just a little bit safer. (within reason and moderation… bam! nice save!)